There’s no escaping it: we all get hurt from time to time. Getting hurt is painful, but it’s what we do with this pain that really matters. That’s because we can either hold onto this pain for days, months and even years. Or, we can make room for a more loving and joyful experience. If the latter sounds good to you – and it probably does – then, keeping reading for five ways to move on and let go of emotional pain.

Why should you let go in the first place? After all, if people hurt you, they owe you an apology, and you have every right to be angry, upset, resentful and bitter. 

The only problem is, with this approach, you’re essentially pretty powerless. That’s because you allow other people to dictate how you feel. And do you want to let others keep you from feeling happy? Probably not, right?

What’s more, even though an apology is great, we can’t force this to happen and we can’t control other people. So, here again, you give other people power over you. But if you can move on and let go, you can begin to feel lighter, happier, and finally at peace. 

Dr. John Grohol, the founder and CEO of Psych Central, offers these five simple tips. While they’re simple, they can still be a challenge, but stick with it – it’s worth it in the end. That’s because you deserve to enjoy a peaceful life experience.

Choose to let go

Letting go doesn’t just happen. You have to want to let go and then commit to it. 

Express your pain 

Don’t hold all this pain in. Express it responsibly and safely.

Decide to not be a victim anymore

When you’re a victim, you see yourself as powerless and blame others. Can you take control of the situation instead?

Be present and choose gratitude 

Someone hurt you, but this pain doesn’t have to taint your daily experience. Instead, choose to be present and to be grateful for the good things you do have.

Practice forgiveness

When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you’re weak and that they get away with what they did. It means that you free yourself of the hurt they caused you.