Envy is not a fun feeling and it usually sneaks up at the most inopportune times. You know, like when your best friend gets a promotion. Or, when your other friend gets engaged. In moments like these, when you should feel happy and celebrate, you feel unhappy for them – and for yourself, too. But there are seven ways to deal your green-with-envy thoughts. Let’s check them out – green’s not a good color for you.
You’re not a bad person for feeling envy
It’s true, you shouldn’t feel envy, and when you do you feel bad about yourself – on top of feeling envy. But the truth is, we all feel envy from time to time. It’s a normal part of the human experience. It’s what you do with your envy thoughts that matters.
7 ways to challenge envy thoughts
Many envy thoughts are just automatic, and we don’t really “decide” to have them. But the next time you feel envy bubbling up, try to stop and observe the thoughts you have. If they’re any of the following, see if you can replace them with a more healthy thought.
Envy thought #1: Others must think I’m a loser because someone else succeeded.
Think: I actually don’t know other people’s thoughts. And they are probably thinking about themselves, and not me.
Envy thought #2: What I do isn’t worthwhile or valuable because someone else succeeded.
Think: Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish what I accomplish. The things I do feel rewarding and meaningful to me.
Envy thought #3: She is successful and I’m a complete and utter failure.
Think: Life is more complicated and intricate than that. Sometimes, certain actions are met with success. Other times, this isn’t the case.
Envy thought #4: Her success reflects negatively on me.
Think: Her success is separate from me. Her success is relevant to her, and not me. What I do, think and feel reflects on me.
Envy thought #5: It’s unfair/wrong that she got recognized and I didn’t.
Think: Being in the spotlight is a momentary experience. It doesn’t last forever.
Envy thought #6: I am never going to succeed.
Think: Success can occur at anytime. And it’s possible that my future actions will be successful even if this action wasn’t.
Envy thought #7: I never do anything that works.
Think: I have achieved may things, and I have felt rewarded and satisfied with myself.