It’s cool when people like you, and it hurst when they don’t. It feels like rejection and to avoid that pain, we try to win people’s approval, whether in real life or online. Think: thumb’s up, hearts, etc. But you know – it’s actually okay if people don’t like you. And if that still seems hard to wrap your head around, keep reading for three mindset shifts that can help.
Let go of needing to be liked
Now, this is definitely easier said than done, and social media doesn’t help one bit. In order to grow your accounts and following, you have to be liked. So, we get very good at people-pleasing and editing ourselves so that people like us.
But if you’re only living for outside approval, you’re living for others, and not yourself. What’s more, you’re not living as your true self.
You’re growing and changing
The great Greek philosopher, Epictetus once said, “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” And it still holds true today. You can challenge yourself and change, but that doesn’t mean other people are doing the same. And as a result, these people don’t like you.
But no matter, it’s time to find people who line up with who you are and where you are right now.
Anthony Bourdain shared something his mentor once told him in his book, Kitchen Confidential. His mentor said, “I have many, many enemies. It’s good, sometimes, to have enemies — even if you don’t know who they are. It means you are…important.”
And for some people, this is certainly true. The more important, or successful, or popular you become, there’s a good chance people won’t like you for it. But instead of focusing on people who dislike you, focus on all the good things you’re accomplishing and how far you’ve come.