Grudges might feel like the right thing to do. But the toxic energy they carry is not good for you, your physical health and your emotional wellbeing. In fact, the sooner you let that grudge go, the better off you’ll be. That’s not to say that letting go of a grudge is easy. It’s hard. Which is why these three steps are perfect for gals like you and me. 

The reason why grudges are so hard to let go of is because holding onto them makes us feel self-righteous and satisfied. On top of this, it feels safer to stay angry than to be vulnerable. But this anger doesn’t serve you. So, let it go, once and for all with these three tips.

Step #1: What actually happened?

During the heat of the moment, it’s understandable that you feel lots of emotions. However, now that it’s passed, try to look at the situation more objectively. The point of this step is to understand not only what happened, but how/why it made you upset. 

Step #2: Why are you still holding on to this grudge?

Maybe it feels like the other person deserves the grudge, but what are you getting out of it? What good will come out of you holding onto this grudge? Chances are, very little. 

Step #3: Forgiveness is for you, not them

Do you think you can only forgive another person if they apologize? This is where many of us go wrong with forgiveness. It’s not something we do for ourselves. Instead, it’s something we do for ourselves. 

By forgiving the other person, you’re not excusing or condoning what they did. Instead, you’re choosing to release what they did. You’re gifting yourself freedom from what they did, knowing that they will be held accountable.

Many of us are afraid of conflict, so we avoid it. And even if this approach helps you “keeps the peace”, it doesn’t serve you in the long run. If you want to deal with conflict in your life a little bit better, lean into it, rather than avoid it. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to be a drama queen and look for conflict. Instead, it’s all about approaching conflict with grace. 

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